October Favorites

Happy Halloween! October where did you go? September was gone with a blink of an eye and now October has magically disappeared. Before you know it I'll be sharing my November favorites and we'll be counting down the days until Christmas. For today let's enjoy the last of October by talking about some of my favorites from this month.

First up is this OPI nail polish in the shade 'Yank My Doodle'. I have been obsessed with it ever since I purchased it earlier this month. One of my friends Mayra shared a nail polish very similar to this one and I went on the hunt for it. I didn't find the one she had but I came across this one. This burnt orange shade is a favorite of mine especially during October and November. It is the perfect fall shade. I have been wearing it almost all month long and I love it. I shared it on Snapchat and Instagram and so many of my friends loved it. I also get so many compliments on the shade while I'm out. This is one nail polish I definitely recommend everyone get for sure. I'm also very pleased that this polish actually lasts on my nails for a week before it starts chipping. You can find me wearing this polish in a few of my OOTD posts and you can really see it on my what's in my bag post.

This should come as no surprise that I have another candle to share with you guys this month. I purchased this Black Cherry Merlot candle from Bath & Body Works back in September but I didn't start burning it until this month. When this candle was first put on their shelves I was in love with it. The scent of this candle to me reminds me of grape juice which takes me back to when I was a kid in elementary school and my mom used to buy those Juicy Juice boxes. Do any of you remember those? They had a variety of flavored juices but this candle specifically reminds of the grape one. Clearly the candle smells amazing and burns so well. I've been trying to hold back from lighting it everyday. The fragrance notes consists of; dark cherry, black raspberry, and sumptuous merlot. I love this scent so much that I even purchased a couple of their hand soaps and a mini candle for my pumpkin Mikey candle holder. I'm going to have to pick up a couple more candles before they're gone.

My next favorite is the Black Magic themed Ipsy X Valfré bag. I was ecstatic when I found out Ilse Valfré was collaborating with Ipsy to design this months Ipsy bag! I love Valfré's art and I think she is incredibly talented. Valfré is well known for her spooky-cool illustrations and with Halloween being this month it was a match made in heaven to have her design this months bag. I love the color scheme, you have the duo-chrome looking pink background and black and white illustrations. I love all illustrations but if I'd have to choose it would have to be of course the Valfré witch girl, the Ouija board and crystal ball since I have a tattoo of those two. This bag is the best Ipsy has ever came out with and it's definitely my favorite one by far. I've been using this bag to carry my camera since the first day I received it in the mail. I know everyone has been going crazy over this bag so if you can still get your hands on it I wouldn't think twice.

I have a makeup favorite this month! I feel like I rarely talk about makeup anymore but that's because I haven't been buying any makeup lately. I honestly don't even remember when was the last time I even bought makeup and that says a lot. Since it's now Autumn I've been reaching for more of my darker lipstick shades. One lipstick I have been grabbing the most this month has been Taupe by Mac Cosmetics. If you recall I briefly mentioned on a past post that I no longer support Mac, I still don't. I do own a lot of their makeups and most of my lipsticks are from Mac. I do plan on using everything I own of theirs I'm just not going to purchase anything from them anymore. This is my choice and if you still support them that's fine. However that's not what this post is about. A couple of years ago I turned in tons of my empty products to Mac to get free lipsticks and one of the lipsticks I got was Taupe. This shade is stunning and a perfect fall shade. This lipstick is a reddish brown shade and on Mac's website it is describes as a muted reddish-brown taupe shade. This is a matte formula my favorite and I find it lasts for a good amount of hours on the lip. Like I said I have been using this lipstick nearly all month and that's because it goes perfectly with just about any outfit. If you're curious this was the lipstick I was wearing on my Pumpkin Patch and Witchy Vibes post.

I know I'm extremely late on this show but I am officially obsessed with Bates Motel! It was in the middle of the month that I decided to start watching the show and by the end of the week I found myself already on season two! When I first started watching the show I thought it was super weird right away but so interesting that I couldn't stop. I was so curious to find out what was going to happen next. I love Norman he has to be my favorite character from the show so far. Even though he is a bit psychotic, mainly during his black outs, I love how he's such a sweet young man. His devotion to his mom is different but you can see the love he has for her and everyone he befriends. You don't find many guys with that kind of respect and manners these days. This show is unlike all the other shows I have seen and thats why I really like it. It's so different and so many things keep happening especially to Norma. I'm trying to limit myself on watching the series because I don't want it to end, story of my life haha. It's going to suck waiting for season 5 to premier next year.

For my last favorite it's a song I've been absolutely loving all of this month. I've never shared a song as a favorite before and I'm excited to share this one. I love Sia and have been a huge fan of hers since back in 2004 when she first released her song called Breathe Me. Sia recently came out with her latest single called 'The Greatest' featuring Kendrick Lamar and I've been so obsessed with it. First of all it is such a great song and Sia really knows how to write amazing music. Second it was a dream come true that Rudy and I got to go see her live earlier this month. Hearing Sia sing this song live made me love this song so much more. I haven't been to too many concerts in my life but this one seriously took the cake. She was incredible! Also her dancer Maddie Ziegler is an incredible dancer. If you haven't heard the song yet here is the music video. Also the pin above I purchased at Sia's concert and I just love it so much!
What have you been loving in the month of October?


Autumn & Cozy Sweaters

 Leggings, boots, a cozy sweater and socks is one of my favorite outfits to wear on a beautiful autumn day. It's cute, casual and did I mention comfy? Oversized knitted sweaters are on the top of list of things to wear during this season. You can mix and match them with so many outfits rather than only pairing them with leggings. For sock I went with ones that had beige ruffles on top to match the sweater and also to give it a little more girly touch. I love wearing socks like these with boots I think they look so cute together! 

My Mug Collection: Part 3 Halloween Edition

I'm so excited to share part 3 of my mug collection today because these are my more spookier mugs. I wanted to keep this post dedicated to my Halloween mugs so it may be short. These mugs are perfect for Halloween time and are great to drink out of in the late fall nights while watching a Halloween movie.

Floral Lace

Dress: Forever 21, Tights: Target, Denim Jacket: Old Navy Shoes: Dr Martens, Purse: Harveys


Anxiety: My Story

This post may be all over the place so I apologize in advance if it is. I've been wanting to share this on my blog for some time now but at the same time, it's something I didn't want to talk too much about. This is somewhat of a touchy topic for me and it's different to deal with once it's public on the internet. This opens the doors for many people to criticize you and create their own opinions about you without even knowing you. Not many people know this about me unless you know me in real life or are a close friend of mine through social media. I've known for a while that I struggled with anxiety but it wasn't until summer of 2013 that a psychiatrist diagnosed with anxiety and depression. That summer I was at my absolute lowest and I knew I was in desperate need of professional help. During one of my weekly sessions with my therapist or psychiatrist was when I learned that I had been dealing with depression for over twenty years rather than five years like I thought. Let's go back in time to when I was starting kindergarten. I'm going to share with you all my story with anxiety. Where it all started and how it affected me.

I was four years old when I first experienced an anxiety attack. I know some of you are probably thinking, how on earth does a four-year-old child have anxiety? Well, I did and I learned from therapy that was because I was struggling with severe separation anxiety. I remember the day so clearly, it was my first day of Kindergarten and my mom took me to school. We were outside hanging out before class started. Once it was time for all the kids to say goodbye to their parents and enter the classroom I began to get extremely anxious and panicky. I remember panicking to the point that I grabbed my mom and wouldn't let go crying. I started screaming when the Teachers aid grabbed my arm to take me inside the classroom. My mom promised me that she wouldn't leave and that she would stay right outside the window watching me. That wasn't enough to comfort me. I didn't know what to do but cry. Once inside the class, I kept looking out the window to make sure my mom didn't leave me. It was so bad that once again the Teachers aid had to close the curtains to stop me from looking out the window and pay attention to the teacher. I still remember every single emotion I felt that day so vividly. It was definitely rough and didn't end there. My mom had to accompany me to school and stay by my side every single day of my Kindergarten year. This continued until first grade. As the time went by it got better and eventually, my mom didn't have to come to school with me anymore. Then I forgot all about that anxious feeling I used to get.

It wasn't until I was starting middle school that those old feelings came back. This time it was different because I was much older and my mom couldn't be at my side all day anymore nor did I want her to. The beginning of sixth grade was incredibly tough on me I will never forget it. It was similar to kindergarten only a little worse. I was in a completely new school, unfamiliar, and it was a lot further from home. I didn't know anyone and felt extremely alone which was terrifying. I was so scared to where sometimes I felt paralyzed. I wanted to run screaming and hide somewhere, anywhere. I was really afraid of being alone, or left behind, especially forgotten. I had to take the bus to school by myself which was also very scary. I was always in fear if I were to miss the bus and could never get home. Or once I got off the bus if no one would be there waiting for me. I knew I had to be strong like always, and once again it got easier with time passing. After that year I never felt that feeling again and moved on with my life.

Fast forward to 2008, I've graduated from High School and had my first job. It was a very normal day like any other. Nothing crazy or special happened. I was in the drive-thru with someone getting some food and while waiting in line I began to feel funny. I couldn't describe or pin point how I was feeling but I felt so strange. I started to feel like my throat was closing on me as if I was having some sort of allergic reaction, even though I've never had one so I don't know how that felt. I started to freak out and wanted to run screaming. I didn't know what was going on with me but I remember feeling like I wanted to rip my throat open so that I could breathe. I was trying not to think about it too much but you know how that goes. All of a sudden I was so tired. I felt exhausted and just wanted to lay down and rest. I just wanted to close my eyes, that was when I felt a little better and more relaxed. I had told my parents how I was feeling once I got home and when my dad saw me trying to sleep he told me not to in case I would stop breathing while sleeping. I think my parents made me feel worse, unintentionally of course. Because of them, I was getting even more anxious. My mom had walked to me and told me how I looked like a ghost because of how pale I was and began crying. Constantly trying to remain strong at that moment I broke down and I couldn't stop crying. I was panicking all over again and the ambulance was called. Once the paramedics took me to the ER I was there for what felt like forever. I remember the nurse hooked me up to machines and you could hear my heart beat which was driving me insane. I kept thinking what if the sounds stops that would mean my heart had stopped. Finally, once the Dr. came he had asked me some questions and told me I had a panic attack. He asked me if there was anything I was worried or stressing over, but there wasn't. It was a normal day like any other. There was no trigger.

After that day I was constantly freaking out about everything. I never wanted to go out anywhere I wanted to stay home all the time. One time I was at the movies and the theater looked to have been a full house. I started to freak out again and felt claustrophobic which is weird because I'm not. I wanted to run out of there screaming. That was a pattern and felt it was the only thing that running away would solve my problem. The anxiousness lasted for a couple of months then became a horrible memory. I never wanted to back to that ever again.

Now we're in 2013 and life seemed pretty good. Rudy and I were together going on a year and I had become a front end manager at the job I was at the time. Everything was going well, I would occasionally stress from the new position at work but it wasn't a big deal. One morning I woke up to stomach pains that went away that same day but made its way back a few weeks later while I was getting ready one morning for work. Regardless of the pain I still went into work in hopes that the pain would eventually subside, but it didn't. The stomach pains were painful and felt like a never ending stabbing pain on my right rib. During my first break at work, I asked my manager if the pain didn't go away if I could go home during lunch but he said no they needed me. Let me tell you guys this manager wasn't necessarily the kindest person. I felt stuck like I had no choice regardless of how much pain I was in I had to stay at work or else I'd get in trouble. Come lunch time the pain is still lingering so I just called my Dr and made an appointment. The pain lasted I want to say eight hours. It ended a few hours before my shift ended.

When I had my appointment I found out I had a stone in my gallbladder and would need surgery to remove it. I'm sure that surgery isn't anything major but I had never had surgery before in my life so the thought really shook me. I was scared out of my mind but I put up a front and tried to remain strong. The moment I said goodbye to Rudy before being rolled to the operating room I almost broke down. Surgery went well and then it was time to recover. My surgeon had originally given me a week off from work but as the week was ending she extended it to another week because I was still very sore and could barely walk. I went into work to give my manager my Drs note and he gave me so much crap for taking another week off. He kept telling me how he was relying on me to be there because he needed the coverage and I was the only option. I had to open the store because the only other managers were taking the weekend off. The fact that I was still recovering from surgery didn't matter to him one bit. He even wanted me to ignore my Drs note and still come in even though I could have probably gotten fired if anyone found out about that. Regardless I know it shouldn't have but it really stressed me out. I hate disappointing people plus I couldn't help but think he's going to screw me over now.

My first day back to work I felt extremely anxious and I really didn't want to be there. I wasn't ready to be back. My job was a very busy fast paced job and I knew it wasn't going to be easy on me. On top of that, I was scheduled to work a full eight hours and that worried me because I was sill moving really slow from surgery and still was pretty sore. I asked my manager if I could work a half shift too slowly get me back into things and he said no. I wanted to cry because I knew the pain I was feeling but I didn't have a choice I had to stay there no matter what. By the time I got home I was beyond exhausted and in pain! My incision was so sore I didn't know how I was going to survive another day like that. The following day I went to work for another full day. Still very sore I sucked it and tried to do my best. After my first break, I went back to work and ended up lifting something too heavy and ended up hurting my incision that I had to go home. It felt like I strained something and I had to go to the Dr. She gave me a couple of weeks off since she didn't want anything to open up. I tried to relax during the time I was home but I was stressing out about work. I was so scared to go back to work before I was physically ready and because I knew how upset my manager would be. That was all I could think of and on top of that, he kept bugging me about going back to work.

A day or two before I was supposed to be going back to work I was out with a friend hanging out. Out of nowhere, I started to feel funny. My throat was starting to bother me and slowly felt like it was closing in on me. I started to feel very anxious as soon as I realized what was going on but I tried my hardest not to think about it. Once I got home that feeling didn't go away and ended up getting worse. I started to get extremely hot and sweaty. When I touched my face and chest I was cold. That was making me even more anxious then I noticed I was shaking and couldn't stop myself. I ended up calling to talk to a nurse and she gave me some tips to try and relax me in hopes that my anxiety attack would go away. She suggested for me to listens to calm instrumental music and lay on my left side. If things didn't get better but worse she told me to go to the ER. I tried doing what the nurse suggested and nothing was helping. I think I was already so far into my panic that nothing but time would bring me back. While on the phone with the nurse we scheduled an appointment for the next day with my Dr and I just kept thinking about the appointment. There I would get some answers and hopefully, that would help. My mom didn't want to take me to the ER and kept telling me to lay down and relax. This all started around eight or nine and lasted until three am. I kept trying to distract myself but eventually being so tired was what got me to calm down and eventually fall asleep. This was the worst anxiety attack I had ever experienced. From there on all the anxiety attacks I had felt like that some worse than others.

Alright, I think this is where I am going to end this post since it's already ridiculously long. I wouldn't be surprised nor would I blame any of you if you choose not to read this. I mainly wanted to share my experience with anxiety, how it all started and how I felt while having one. I'm thinking of doing a part two and there I will continue from where I left off on this post. If you did read this thank you so much it was definitely the hardest post I've ever done. I know a lot more people than we think deals with anxiety. Maybe with this post, someone can relate to me.


What's In My Bag?

I figured it was time to do an updated what's in my bag since it was back in January when I last let you guys take a peek inside my bag. If you haven't checked out my previous what's in my bag click here. One major thing that has changed is the purse I'm using. I'm always changing from purse to purse. It is one of my favorite accessories to mix and match depending on my outfit. I am currently carrying my Marilyn Satchel Disney/Queen of Hearts purse from Harveys.

Girly & Edgy

Pairing a dress with boots is something I love to do. It makes a girly outfit look more edgy and can dress your outfit down while still looking cute. Here is the outfit I wore yesterday, a perfect example of girly and edgy. A black dress with floral boots and olive green jacket.

My Mug Collection: Part 2

Today I am going to be sharing part 2 of my mug collection series. I decided for this post I am going to share only Alice in Wonderland mugs since majority of mugs I own are of Alice. I didn't mention this on part one but these mugs aren't in any particular order. Let's begin!

Witchy Vibes

Every time I post an outfit of the day photo on Instagram I get so many compliment from friends along with questions where my outfits are from. I've been asked by a few people to start doing an OOTD (outfit of the day) post on my blog and that is something I'm very excited to start sharing. I don't think my style is anything crazy, its pretty simple actually. I like to dress cute yet comfortable, comfort is everything to me. I would describe my style as girly with an edge. Whether I'm dressed up in a dress along with stockings, some days I dress it down by throwing on a pair of high top sneakers while still keeping the outfit super cute and girly.

Pumpkin Patch

This weekend Rudy and I made our way to a local pumpkin patch. Unsuccessfully, I try to visit at least one pumpkin patch a year. I'm very pleased that we were able to check it off our list so early in the month. The weather was absolutely perfect and had us in fall mode. We both really enjoyed ourselves and managed to get lots of great photos. I wanted to share them with all of you today, I hope you enjoy.

My Top Favorite B&BW Candles: Fall Edition

Summer is over and Autumn has begun! I'm so excited for fall because it is my favorite season. Leaves begin to fall and change colors, the heat begins to subside and as cooler weather approaches, longer nights, cuddle season, Halloween and more holidays to follow. Lots of things to look forward to and since it is now Autumn I am back to share my favorite Bath and Body Works candles fall edition. If you've been reading my blog for a while now then you remember back in July I shared my favorite B&BW Summer edition candles. I had a lot of fun doing that and thought it would be even more fun to continue sharing my favorite candles for every season because I have different favorite candles for each season. These aren't in any specific order I am just going to begin.

I love a variety of candle scents from fruity, to mildly sweet and fresh clean. For Fall I think most of the candles I enjoy are a lot warmer and cozy if that makes any sense. First candle I am going to share is very Fall or should I say Autumn appropriate, and it is called Autumn. When I smell this candle I automatically see myself in fall weather, walking down the streets that are filled with golden leaves all over the ground. The fresh crisp and chilly air, and the feeling of the Autumn season approached us. I love to burn this candle in the late afternoon just before the sun begins to set. It gives me the best feeling and I am obsessed with the fresh scent that it gives the house. I believe this candle is a cult favorite of many and it is always being re-released every year. I always make sure to pick up one each year so that I am never without it.

Notes: bright red apple, cedar wood, fir balsam.

The second candle I'm going to talk about is a must for me to have during this season. Pumpkin Apple is definitely on the top of my lists of favorite candles. Apple scent is already a favorite of mine and even though I wasn't always a fan of pumpkin I do love the way it smells. The mixture of these two scents are perfect and screams fall to me and are two of my favorite fall scents. I think the juiciness of the red apples go so well with the spiciness of the pumpkin. I don't know what more to say about this candle you have to go pick one up and smell it for yourself. It fills up the house with such warmth and its perfect on a more chilly Autumn evening.

Notes: apple, pumpkin, cinnamon, cloves.

Moving on to a more sweeter candle. Pumpkin Caramel Latte was the very first candle I ever purchased from B&BW four years ago! When I purchased it I stocked up and I am now on my last candle. I have yet to see this same exact scent to be brought back this year. I know B&BW usually carries Caramel Pumpkin Swirl this candle is the closest I can compare the latte to. Caramel pumpkin Swirl is a good candle that I own myself and really enjoy. You can't go wrong with either one of these, the latte one is just a little more warmer in scent and I find the swirl a tad more sweeter. This candle is definitely on the more sweeter side like I said in the beginning and I can't have it burning for too long. One hour maybe two hours at the most but it makes the entire house smell so delicious. The scent lingers through the house for hours which is why I find I only need to burn it for an hour or else the scent will become too strong and ends up making me feel sick. Regardless of how strong and sweet this candle is having a pumpkin caramel candle during this season is another must in my book especially since I like to switch my candles around every few days.
Notes: creamy pumpkin, spiced caramel, sweet cream.

Back to another fresh scented candle. I absolutely love candles like Autumn and Sweater Weather because they really give off a fresh clean scent. This is another candle that I believe is a lot of peoples holy grail when it comes to the Fall season for very good reasons. The smell is amazing and screams Fall! Theres nothing better than crisp cold fall breeze kissing you slightly on the face. This candle makes me envision that and it also reminds me of fresh clean men who doesn't love that?! You can not go wrong with burning this candle during the day or late afternoon. I feel candles like these really sets the fall mood and I just love the feeling while being cuddled up. This is another candle that I always need to make sure I have in stock in my room.

Notes: eucalyptus, juniper berry, fresh sage.

For the last candle I'm going to talk about is one of the newest of my collection. I already spoke about the Pumpkin Banana Muffin on my September favorites and since day one I knew it was going to be a fall favorite candle. Even though I haven't owned this candle for as long as I have all the others it's already a favorite of mine and a candle I can see myself continuously burning each year during Fall. When burning this candle it fills the whole house making people think you are baking banana bread it's so delicious and not overly sweet. I'm so happy B&BW finally came with a banana scented candle and it being pumpkin banana is even better.

Notes: caramelized banana, pumpkin purée, walnut, cinnamon sugar.

These are all the candles I'm sharing for my favorite fall time candles. What are some of your must have candles for this season?